Opening our Hearts to Our Partners

Alison Armstrongthought she knew everything about the opposite sex. But after a 15-year search, she discovered some very interesting facts.Creator of the Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women® workshop series, Alison says that learning about the opposite sex can actually be fun and entertaining.

Alison has learned that one of the primary reasons for the battle of the sexes is the lack of understanding of the nature of the opposite gender. She says we often tend to judge the behavior of the opposite sex by the way we would act in similar situations.

According to Alison, when a woman looks at her partner, she may only see a rough, inconsiderate and misbehaving woman and when a man looks at his partner, he may merely see her as a softer, scattered, emotionally indulgent man. Believing we are versions of each other, we expect what works for us will work for them. Alison says “Not so!”

“Opposite is as different as can be,” she declares, “Men and women don’t think the same way, listen the same way, or speak for the same purposes. Our vision is not the same and our feelings aren’t even located in the same parts of our bodies!”

Yin and Yang
Working with hundreds of couples, Alison has seen that the masculine way of thinking is single focused; moving from one result to the next in singular commitments, connecting and disconnecting from the people around them.

The feminine way of thinking is diffuse awareness; multi-tasking in response to being pulled by multiple and competing necessities, while maintaining a sense of Velcro-like connection to everyone around them.

When a man gets frustrated because he does not have what he needs to produce the result he is committed to, a woman will say, “Just do something else.”  When the barrage of needs demanding her attention overwhelms a woman, a man will respond, “Just do one thing at a time.” Neither can do what the other is suggesting and the advice leaves them each feeling misunderstood.

Women can feel abandoned when her partner shifts his focus away from her; whereas a man can feel crushed when a woman allows an interruption to disrupt a conversation with him. In fact, neither partner means to hurt the other, yet these small misunderstandings can add up, creating feelings of separation.

And to totally confuse matters—in our late 40's and 50's, changing testosterone levels cause our brains to re-wire, making women become more focused and causing men to be able to multi-task!

A Shift in Awareness …
Alison has found some simple solutions to the tensions that can occur between the sexes. Once we receive the right information, we can change our view of our partner’s behavior. Enhanced awareness allows us to start to see and appreciate each other’s strengths, gifts and challenges.

The extra effort it takes to understand the opposite sex pays handsome dividends in self-expression, satisfaction and getting what you need from your relationship with a lot less effort.

A Gift For You!
The holiday season is a time for getting closer to our partners and so Alison has a special gift for you: listen to one of her talks on how to create a better relationship with your partner at: http://understandmen.com/peakpotentials

For your freedom,

T. Harv Eker