The most common phobia that people have is the “fear of public speaking”. Some people dread it more than death. Schools and colleges rarely provide training on public speaking; you’re just told to stand at the front and read your book report or story of what you did that summer. Being judged by your peers can make you either love or hate the attention you get from speaking to an audience.
Having confidence with public speaking will make you stand out from the crowd. You’ll be more likely to succeed at job interviews. You’ll be more comfortable contributing your point of view when working in a team. And you’ll be more likely to give winning presentations and seminars in the workplace. Altogether you’ll have a better professional life and relationships with your colleagues.
As a confident speaker you’ll be more comfortable breaking the ice and starting conversations with strangers. You’ll be a better networker with an expanded social circle and self-confidence in your personal life.
Plus you’ll be more likely to succeed in a career where teaching or training is required, whether you’re teaching to an individual or from stage to an audience of two thousand people.
With all these opportunities for succees, the key is about overcoming your fear of public speaking. The first tip? Remember that you’re not alone and that almost everyone has a fear of public speaking!
1. Have Powerful Physiology.
If you act “as if you’re the boss” often you get to be boss is an old principle in business. And now one of the most prestigious business schools in the world, Harvard, has proved the idea.
Organisational psychologist Professor Amy Cuddy has shown that when people change their postures into dominant poses their testosterone goes up and their cortisol goes down. Those changes are associated with leadership roles, and people do feel more powerful when they adopt the appropriate body language.
Walk on stage with confidence, with your shoulders back and arms powerful. Don’t allow yourself to be stiff; just be real and strong.
Healthy, deep breathing improves your ability to be effective whenever you are facing a particularly stressful situation. So it’s natural that you’d need it before delivering presentations, or when you’re about to deliver bad news, or when you need to ask for something important.
Deep breathing helps relieve nervous energy. It helps develop a strong voice and it helps to strengthen personal intensity. It is important for our energy, our focus, and our concentration.
Unfortunately, most of us breathe with our shoulders. We’re shallow “chest breathers” where our stomach goes in and shoulders go up. But if you fill your lungs with a deep inhale and follow it up with a slow exhale, it will relax and refresh you.
3. Come from service (it’s not about you).
Start out by taking the pressure off of you and your performance. No matter who you’re speaking to, your focus needs to be in one place only — on your audience. It’s not about you. It’s all about them.
Audience-centered speaking will help to move your audience to action. You need to listen to your audience from the moment you step in front of people. And when you ask ‘How are you?’ of an audience, wait to see how some members of that audience actually are. Don’t continue until you’ve learned the answer, either verbally or nonverbally.
Take a good look around the room, smile while you make some eye contact, take a few steps toward the group and let your hands fall open gracefully toward the audience — as though you wished you could give them a big hug. (or not, but hopefully you get the idea!)
4. Don’t take anything personally.
As long as your information is correct, nobody is going to hold anything against your if you make a mistake. Follow the examples of great comedians. Instead of letting mistakes interrupt the show, they incorporate them into the show. They laugh at themselves. This gets the audience to laugh with them instead of at them.
With a public presentation, you want the audience to laugh with you when something goes wrong instead of laughing at you. You can achieve this by not taking mistakes personally and having a sense of humor about them.
5. Stay present.
A public speaking event often involves a ton of distractions for the speaker. Unfortunately these distractions draw us away from what’s happening in the present moment. So it’s important that you anchor yourself: to yourself, to your audience, and to your content.
Focusing on your breath is one tactic you can use to feel centered within ourselves and your presentation. To stay present with your audience just remember that the audience is filled with people – with individual human beings just like you and me – and by connecting with them one at a time. And, finally, to stay present your message, remember what is it that you want to accomplish. Why have you been asked to speak in the first place? What do you feel passionately about that brings us to this presentation? What is the gift that you are sharing with your audience? What is your core message? When we focus on these questions rather than our fear, we are able to stay grounded in what’s truly important to us.
6. Say to your mindfrick, “Thank you for sharing”.
No matter what, there’s going to be a little voice in your head saying something to you. More likely than not that mindfrick is going to be chattering away telling you that you can’t do it. But remember that you’re stronger than you think.
When that little voice starts going on and attacking your confidence, just say to yourself “Thank you for sharing” and move on. Don’t respond. Don’t listen. Don’t dwell. Don’t work yourself up into a tizzy. Instead acknowledge that it’s just your mind trying to get the best of you, and move on.
7. Remember, you don’t look as nervous as you feel.
Remember what “fear” is. Fear is the anticipation of pain. Is your fear real or imagined? Chances are likely that it’s imagined. Your fear is not that you don’t know your topic. It is that you don’t know what will happen when you step to the podium.
When you’re walking out on stage, no one knows you’re nervous. Your stomach could be in knots and you may feel like you’re going to be sick, but you aren’t showing it. There are only a few subtle cues that show a person is nervous and they’re so small that the ordinary person wouldn’t be able to notice them from where they’re sitting. People don’t see that nervous beast inside you!
8. It gets easier.
Really and truly, it does get easier. Get practice and feedback in a safe environment by joining a public speaking group like Toastmasters. You’ll get the chance to learn from watching others. And you’ll be reminded that you’re not alone with your fear. Something that helps more than anything is practicing the outline of what you want to say. The more you know your content, the less nervous you’re likely to feel. Speaking groups are an excellent way to hone your presentation’s content and structure.
9. People want you to succeed.
Audiences want you to be interesting, stimulating, informative and entertaining. They’re rooting for you. So give them what they want and feel great in the process!
10. Trust yourself.
As long as you know where your content is starting, and where you want to go, trust that you’ll be able to take your audience from Point A to Point B. Know where you’re going by picking a few main points and bring them to life with stories. If you practice enough, you’ll soon come across smooth. And know that you CAN do it.
You’re stronger than you think, and with a bit of practice you will be wowing your audience in a way that connects and persuades. If you want to become a great communicator and speak to either small or large audiences, then you should attend Train the Trainer, taking place October 29-November 2, 2013 at the Westin Los Angeles Airport. To register, call 1.877.791.7325.